Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
