playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
