you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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