I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
