Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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