She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i now understand why vodka
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
