Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
