the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
