He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
