it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
