So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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