He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
