i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
