So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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