yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
