I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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