Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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