told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
