i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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