I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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