We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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