A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
