it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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