This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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