Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Someone signed my nipple.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
