also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I would fuck him just for his dog
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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