Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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