my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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