it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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