Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
