Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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