Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
