her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
