i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
