how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
