It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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