Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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