ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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