I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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