I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
