Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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