You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
