What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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