being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
