NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
