lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
