He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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