i permit you to call me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
