She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
