My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
