I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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