Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
did i walk over a car last night?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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